For The Kept Woman

When TKW departed TheFirm to enjoy her life of caring for her beautiful girls, she called me up and said something along the lines of "Hey Old Lady. While I was off on maternity leave you failed to keep up the database of software users and the status of their training and you failed to keep up the database of databases. I can't live like this, I'm moving on." While she claims this to be in jest, deep down inside I think the element of disorganization was more than she could take.Well, this is why TKW should not have three children.

The conversation with myself went something along the lines of "Do I really need to take the time to separate the collard shirts from the T-Shirts, put them by color and whether or not they have stripes?" Sadly, I answered myself NO. When I found out I was very, very, very surprisingly pregnant with my third, my OB explained to me through my tears that at some point your house reaches a state of Chaos. There is not an amount of Chaos. Once you are there, you are there. Embrass it. Well fans, we have reached Chaos. I ceased the ability to organize closets, to place the lego sets into their labeled clear plastic containers, to sperate the closet of games by age level and size of the game box, to put books neatly on the shelves so that they are in order by size. I have reached CHAOS!

Impulse Control

So how does one teach impulse control to a three year old? I've realized that is what is Monster's biggest problem. Grandma was none to thrilled that I failed to complete the drowning story so here you go.

Last weekend we were at the aquatic center which has the little kids area where there is a playground type area in a shallow pool and then there is a about 5 feet deep pool. We take the kids to the 5 feet pool to teach swimming. The Doodlebug is fearless about water. She was jumping into the pool to me and she would pop out of the water, rub the water from her eyes and sign "more". (So, while she looks just like Grandma, she doesn't mind getting water in her face, unlike Grandma.)

Later in the afternoon, Doodlebug and I were having a snack while the others played. She decided she was done with her snack and started off back to the pool. I called for her but she didn't hear me so I followed her just to see where she would go. She wondered through the shallow pool and then off to the deep pool where she walked to the side of the pool and calmly held onto the side of the pool and tried to get in. The Old Man and Monster came over shortly there after. They were on their way to the snack bar which was just past the big pool. We were all walking by the big pool together when Monster decided to shove Doodlebug into the pool. The Old Man jumped in right after her and she came right out of the water screaming "MONSTER". She wanted to be certain we knew exactly who did it.

Did this, however, teach her a healthy fear of water, NO. When asked WHY Monster replied he had seen her jumping off the side to me and wanted to know what happens if she jumped in by herself. She sinks, I explained. It took hours for me to get the image out of my head of her little pink hat floating on the top of the water and her fuzzy pink bathing suit deep in the pool.

On to happier matters!

This week was the first week of 1st Grade! The Boss got a 100% on her first ever spelling test (she gets that from her Dad)! She LOVES her teacher and she is very existed about 2 hours of math every day (obviously having M present at birth and her influence over the past six years has had an impact). She brings home a book to read every evening that is the equivalent of "See Jane Run." " See Spot Jump" She reads her school book and then reads The Cat In The Hat to her sister before bed.

This week was also Monster's first soccer game of her third season. Despite it being a million degrees outside, her team won 8-1. She was a trooper and ran the whole time. Unlike her mother she is so athletic!

Doodlebug and Monster have both been sleeping in their beds through the night. We realized it was daisy and Dash that were waking them up. Once we implemented a back-to-school bedtime routine and lock Dash and daisy in the playroom all night, it is night time bliss at the Shoe.

So, there is a recap of the week. I've gotten some relief at The Firm and hopefully when trial is over I can reliably re-join the Blogging World.

Pandora

No time to really tell you how the Monster almost drowned the Doodlebug this weekend but do want to share my new favorite toy. Go to www.pandora.com and check it out. Tell it what your favorite song or artist is and it will play you music all day. You also get to tell it which songs you like and which you don't which help it play music you enjoy. I have a Jim Brickman Station for when I need to get my blood pressure under control and a U2 station when I want to get my mind off EVERYTHING. Try it!

Proud Parenting Moments...

The Monster's note on yesterday's daily sheet from daycare:
"Not a good listener. Monster bit a friend on the back & put his bottom in a friend's face and passed gas."

When I asked the Boss, "

What are we going to do about The Monster?" without hesitation she responded "Sell him!" I ask to whom, who would buy him, she again quickly responded "The Zoo".

Good Job Bat Nurse!

I have been called many things in my career as a paralegal but yesterday made a first for "Bat Nurse". I must say Iam enjoying new attorney's sense of humor. Yesterday we were attempting to finalize a huge document yet he needed to be out of the office after 10:00 a.m. As most often happens in the legal world, we were being delayed waiting on an element from our client. I asked Bat Guy (new attorney - explanation to follow) if he would sign the document and once I received the final portion from the client, I could then e-file it with the court. He complied and responded "If I were a surgeron, I'de say 'nurse you close please'". He rushed out there door leaving me a message with his "super secret, always attached to the hip, Bat phone" number. I responded that I would attempt to utilize the Bat Signals for emergency purposes only and would e-mail him once the document was closed and in recovery. The responds "Good Job Bat Nurse."

I realize this speaks highly to my state of mind. Hopefully after the end of the year some sort of normalcy will return to the Firm.

Might be AWOL for some time

My lawyer population at the Firm has almost doubled. The Firm brought in a new partner who needs some assistance on two document intensive matters. Being that 3 of our 6 litigation paralegals are pregnant and one is out on leave for the month of August, that left me and one other. For those of you who have no understanding of the term "billable hours" count yourself fortunate but I lost the billable hours race so I get to inherit the new guy. Then one of the 3 pregnant paralegals was sent home on bedrest yesterday. So, if I'm absent from the Blog world, it likely has something to do with the 5 lawyers or the 3 children.


Stolen from Lynilu. Sounds like me?

Your Brain is 80% Female, 20% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

The Wet Kids at the Shoe

This weekend was swimming weekend at the Shoe. On Saturday we attended a bithday part at a wave pool and on Sunday we went to our new favorite neighborhood pool where The Boss can jump off the diving board and the Monster goes down the slide!

For a day that started so horribly...

We spent the evening at the City Aquatic Center. The kids had a BLAST. Doodlebug is fearless when it comes to the water. She would jump off the side of the pool and before the night was over, she went down a slide all by herself. The Monster is figuring out how to swim underwater all by himself. The Boss is such great help teaching them how to do everything.

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, MOMMMMYYYYY

I now know where Lucky Lum's headache went.

I timed it this morning. The most time that elapsed between MOMMYYYY was 3 minutes. From 5:30 until I finally escaped at 6:45 the longest span between MOMMYies was 3 minutes (and that was while I was in the shower). When I did manage to escape, the Monster and Doodlebug were screaming so loudly that I not only heard them outside but I could still hear them after getting The Boss in the car and closing the doors. Don't you wish you were my neighbor?

At the Firm I switch from three small children to three lawyers. We are trying to figure out what happens when our one big case settles and that leaves us with just a few little cases. Do we start handing out business cards at car accidents???? Chasing ambulances?

I'd like to give Lucky Lum back her headache now.